Category: The Gags

R U CRAZY about HORSE RACING?

 

No, seriously, R U?  You know, CRAZY?  About HORSE RACING? We mean a die-hard core fan—one who will battle the forces of nature to stand firm at the rail; one who will arrange family functions in-between minutes to post; or one whose out-of-office voice mail says you’re on another line, which actually means you’re standing in line at an OTB. Yes, we mean YOU! We salute you and encourage your addiction to the greatest sport on earth!  Hoist your racing colors! Stay CRAZY ABOUT HORSE RACING!

…Passive race observers need not apply…

 

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*Rookie Mistake

 

Maybe it should be called the ‘watch-where-you’re walking ring’…. (No worries, Filep—there’s good reason no one else ever wants to ride THE DIVA.)

 

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CAPTION: Diva (horse): “Listen up, BUG BOY. I get you’re new to racing—but MY EYES ARE UP HERE! ”

 

 

Please Sign Here

 

That Railbird done flew the coop—and you can believe Diva’s got a sign about that too…

 

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CAPTION: THE DIVA (horse): “—But that Railbird told me ‘show some initiative and even YOU could make a great SIGNER, Diva’… You’re sure he ain’t cashed on me yet? ”


 

Who’s Got The Action

 

According to THE DIVA’s calculations, that rail ain’t gonna be set deep enough for the both of them….

 

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CAPTION: THE DIVA (horse): “Oh, please—like we need a tote board to see that 12 is getting a lot of action….”

 

RACECATIONS—Saratoga Springs, NY

 

FEATURED RACECATION—SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY!
East coast race fans, is there no greater place to visit then one of America’s oldest racecourses? Historic Saratoga Springs has been a travel destination for over a century and this August it is a ‘must-do’ on your itinerary! To learn more about the city’s events, visit www.saratoga.com and follow the racing action at www.nyra.com

THE DIVA loves all the amenities at the Gideon Putnam Resort. Check for room availability at www.gideonputnam.com and don’t forget to tell them TEAM DIVA sent you!

 

OTP_SAR_814

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CAPTION: DIVA: “I’ll take a guest suite please; king bed, park view, pet accommodations and a full spa package. I LOVE racing at Saratoga Springs, don’t you?’ FILEP: ‘Pssft, sure, right… where else am I: her jockey on the track, bellman at the curb, small pet accommodation at the check-in and cabana boy at the pool…’

 

Belmont 2014 Aftermath

 

Another crown opportunity has slipped through time’s hands, leaving again an empty year for this championship’s road less traveled…

Yeah, ummm, now that the pomp and circumstance is out of the way—whazup with that smack during the final minutes of our nationally televised broadcast?

 

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CAPTION: Mr. Coburn, (man in hat) “Cowards!!!” Jerry Bailey: “Hey! Don’t critique my critique of Victor’s ride! How many Belmonts have you rode in, MOSS?” Randy Moss: “Oh yeah? Wanna try standing when you ask me that, BAILEY?” Tonalist (the horse): “Hey. I’m Tonalist… I won the Belmont Stakes. …if anybody cares…”

 

Happy Hallows Eve 2013

 

Do racehorses really spook? Naturally, THE DIVA takes ‘spooking’ to a whole new level. HAPPY HALLOWEEN from OFF THE PACE!

otpBNR_RRD

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Oppan Gangnam Style

 

Diva’s tried racing as a front runner and as a closer, maybe Gangnam is more her style…

 

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OFF THE PACE SKETCHES: Misfit ideas and nonsensical gags not worth the trouble inking, but fun enough to add color to a pencil sketch for show... 

 

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